Download The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child, by Nancy Newton Verrier
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The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child, by Nancy Newton Verrier
Download The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child, by Nancy Newton Verrier
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Product details
Paperback: 231 pages
Publisher: Gateway Press (April 1, 1993)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0963648004
ISBN-13: 978-0963648006
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.6 x 8.9 inches
Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
297 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#8,567 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
I knew I had some subconscious or unconscious "issues" from having been adopted, but I didn't truly understand them until I read this book. If you are adopted, get this book. If you have adopted children - or are even thinking about doing so - get this book. I learned a lot about myself while reading this - it explained a lot of my behavior as a child, and even as an adult. Being adopted IS traumatic, no matter what age it happens at - I was adopted as a baby, but still had issues because of it. My parents used to tell me that I was "chosen," and while they were trying to make me feel good and "special," it always made me sad to hear. Not because I didn't like my adoptive parents, but because - even as a child - I knew inside somewhere that to be "chosen," I first had to be given away. I didn't understand those sad feelings as a child, but thanks to this book, I understand them now.
I was initially excited to read this book but that quickly turned into absolute disappointment, there are several items that I cannot get past and even disagree with the author on certain subjects. I can also admit that it does have a few good points but they are all overshadowed by the author’s condescending tone and disparaging remarks about being an adoptive parent. The author is incredibly discouraging toward the adoption process in general. The book is incredibly biased, jaded and one sided. Perhaps it is slanted that way because of the author’s own troubled experiences with her adopted child, however her personal opinions are treated as facts throughout the book, and this is another concern for me personally. Several of the author’s statements that are not true or verifiable as the book seems unbalanced and speaks in near absolutes. Her conclusions throughout the book are unsupported yet absolute, her supporting ‘evidence’ for her arguments are either her personal experiences, biased observations, or selected anecdotes.Reading the book makes the adoptive parent feel as though they are not and will never be able to provide enough of a supportive and loving family environment for a child and I can only imagine that it makes an adoptee feel as though they are a victim of adoption with a horrible wound that will never heal, this revelation somehow does not seem at all therapeutic to me at all. Throughout the book she states with certainty that any child born via a surrogate mother will have a primal wound, as well as a child who was in the NICU, or an adopted child, and she starts to hint that she believes that children whose mothers work full time are going to have primal wounds as well.Again, I feel like the book did have a few good points, but If you are going to read a book on this topic, perhaps there is another similar book that is more well-rounded, unbiased and encouraging that would benefit the adoptive parents understanding of the subject, the adoptive child, and the birth mother/birth family. I personally found “The Connected Child†to be a much more uplifting and inspirational read that addresses the adoption of a child who’s experienced early loss of a birth parent through a more hopeful and adoption-positive light with the emphasis that adoptive parents can help bring hope and healing to a child.I do not ever really feel compelled to write reviews on anything but this is one book that I feel I must caution others about reading. The only reason that this book gets a one-star review from me is due to the simple fact that I cannot select a 0 star rating or less.
Very good! I was required to read this book for my spiritual journey to Korea last summer. I thought this book wouldn't apply to me as an adoptee and that it would be nothing but a required read. I was absolutely wrong. The first part of the section wasn't totally relating to me. But as soon as I hit the second section, it hit home. Everything the author discussed about the primal wound matched me so much. I have a lot of the book highlighted. It was a very good read. I would highly recommend it for all adoptees. If you're like me, thinking it won't apply to you, I think you will be highly surprised like I was.
This is one of the most important books ever written about adoption. As an adult adoptee, I have to admit that it was painful to read but it was painful because what is written is so true. I highly recommend that both adoptees and adoptive parents, or prospective adoptive parents read this book. How helpful this would have been to my own adoptive parents. How little they truly understood about adopting children can't be understated. A child is NOT a blank slate that remembers nothing of their biological mother. In fact, the opposite is true. This is a must read. It will truly help you find the truth of what a child endures when they are taken away from their mother. I have great respect for Nancy Verrier for having the courage to write this book. Nancy, you have helped thousands by the information you've given in this book. I thank you personally!!
This may be the most powerful and profound book ever written about adoption. It is extremely helpful for all parties involved in adoption whether you're the adoptee, birth parents or the parent of an adopted child. There is just SO much false information in the "mainstream version" of adoption, this book truly dispels the myths and cuts to the heart of the matter. It's helpful beyond words. This issue is SO deep and SO misunderstood. Having this book out there in the world is a true blessing, especially if your searching for your birth parents, like I was.
Thank you! It explains so much! So sad it took me 50 years to understand myself and the primal real-life trauma experienced shortly after birth. The book is profound and compassionate. I suggest reading, contemplating and letting this book soak in for a while. Her follow-up book is a real kick in the ass. Brace yourself.
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